One of the downsides to owning a very large HD TV is that it is now possible to read the fine print on many commercials and what I see greatly reduces my respect for humanity. Presumably the fine print is added to these commercials by lawyers representing whatever product is being advertised. These lawyers are very correctly afraid that if the comical, fanciful, and down-right ridiculous actions portrayed in the ads were to be reproduced for real that someone would likely be severely hurt or even killed. This would naturally result in an extremely large law suit against the makers of the product being advertised. Never mind that everyone is responsible for their own actions and if you are dumb enough to try some of the things you see on TV for yourself you deserve everything that happens to you.
So, here are a couple of examples that I found particularly amusing or absurd:
The screaming squirrel:
This ad was played during the 2008 Superbowl. It was a commercial for tires in which a squirrel runs out into the road in front of a car. The squirrel sees the car and begins to scream. We are then subjected to what was meant to be comical cavalcade of forest animals screaming at the inevitable and gruesome demise of the squirrel. The man driving the car, with a look of exasperation for his screaming wife, casually nudges the wheel and the car swerves gracefully around the squirrel. The object of the ad was to show that the traction capabilities of the tires are excellent and you can rely on that traction when you need to make an emergency maneuver. The fine print says: “Stunt driver. Closed course. Do not attempt.” The fine print actually tells you not to take advantage of the very aspect of the product that the commercial is advertising.
The Cheese Snack In the Nose:
This ad shows an unfortunate woman on an airplane sitting next to a large man who is snoring loudly. The woman is apparently so tired that she is hallucinating the products mascot which tells her to use the tools that she has been given. She then proceeds to stick the cheese snacks up the man’s nostrils to silence his snoring. The fine print (I kid you not): “Stunt nose. Enclosed set. Do not attempt.” Don’t worry we didn’t really film this on a real airplane and no, that woman didn’t really stick things up a strangers nose. I’m so relieved.
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